My Odessey

Salam Jumaat

2012-02-03T14:25:00.001+08:00

Tak banyak lagu yg boleh buat air mata saya almost mengalir but this particular song by Raihan amat touching. Check out the lyrics.

Doa Taubat

Wahai Tuhan ku tak layak ke syurga Mu

Namun tak pula aku sanggup ke neraka Mu

Ampunkan dosa ku, terimalah taubat ku

Sesungguhnya Engkau lah Pengampun

Dosa dosa besar

Dosa dosa ku bagaikan pepasir di pantai

Dengan Rahmat Mu ampunkan daku Ya Tuhan ku

Wahai Tuhan

Selamatkan kami ini

Dari segala kejahatan dan kecelakaan

Kami takut kami harap kepada Mu

Suburkanlah cinta kami kepada Mu

Kamilah hamba yang mengharap

Belas dari Mu

Sambil menaip sambil berperasaan sayu.

Happy friday peeps.

Baca surah al-kahfi ok, children.

NitRah

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Quotes

2012-01-29T08:42:00.001+08:00

" if your wife is depressed, chances are you to blame"

- yahya adel ibrahim

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Saya Kagum

2012-01-28T20:35:00.001+08:00

I witnessed one of the best lion dances today in Pavilion.

Saya amat kagum.

Saya kira anak anak yg 'menjadi' singa tu mesti muda muda lg. But they made it big. Bangga pulak saya. Mesti latihan dah berthn lamanya. Penuh discipline.

Dan saya suka dengar drum dia. Menusuk kalbu gitu. Menaik kan semangat bila saya dgr dum dum dum! Serious. Sungguh majestic!

Kids were over the top. Mcm nak melompat ke bawah. Sebabnya kami di aras empat tadi.

Apa pun, saya suka lion dance. Sejak dulu lagi.

ÑitRah

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Cam Whore?

2012-01-28T14:14:00.001+08:00

Selalu baca pasal org ber cam whore. Saya dari dulu pun suka ber cam whore, masalahnye whore ke? More like a cam walrus kot!

Kadang tu saya tauk pics kat sini bukan sgt nk menunjuk (org yg baca blog ni pun brapa ketul sgt kan). Its more for my kids. I want them to read my blog and want them to know everything.

Kelas kan.

Padahal mungkin bila depa baca, depa terfikir : awatlah mak aku mcm ni haihhh..

Yusuf paling suka bergambar dgn saya. Byk gambar dari dia baby sampailah nk masuk 8thn ni. Asik menepek je sebelah saya.

Wahh hubbs pun suka eh ambik gambar sendiri rupanya. Heeeee!

ÑitRah

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Quotes

2012-01-28T08:39:00.001+08:00

Haha. This i like.

"ugliness is superior to beauty because it lasts."

- miss peej

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Quotes

2012-01-26T20:00:00.001+08:00

"when i am

Annoyed

I prefer to

Ignore"

- miss peej

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The Best in Melaka

2012-01-25T18:47:00.001+08:00

Gambar ala kadar saje.

Maap ada gambar tu seorg mamat tgh pose ala ala sexy. Heheeee!

I wouldnt mind coming here every month.

Kalau saya byk duitlah..

Salam,

ÑitRah

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Year Of The Dragon In Melaka

2012-01-24T17:05:00.001+08:00

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Melaka Again

2012-01-23T22:38:00.001+08:00

Semalam aku ke melaka buat kali kedua dalam masa sebulan.

Tujuan untuk ke kenduri ex student hubbs kat alor gajah. So saya suggest, alang alang ke alor gajah why not kita terus je ke bandar hilir, jalan parameswara to be exact. Hehe. Tidur lah kami sekeluarga semalam di equatorial hotel.

Teruja.

Gambar first n second tu gambar anak anak kebosanan di kenduri kawen. Itu lah jadinye goody bag tu.

Gambar hok se lagi tu hubbs dgn pengantin lelaki yg baru berusia 20thn. Kelas. Comei je saya tgk.

ÑitRah

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A Friend's Thoughts

2012-01-14T07:18:00.001+08:00

As i was worrying and thinking and having nightmares abt yusuf and his social skills, i asked a dear friend,Rozie Ezarina. I know tht i will get a good response from her. Yusuf has a problem with people. He is too scared, too shy, like i said before.

Here is what she said :

"i guess u need to expose him to his peers, like a playdate ke just so he mixes around and not be too quiet and withdrawn.

Have he shown interest in anything particular? Like arts ke, music ke?

For self esteem and confidence, i guess martisl arts would be a good avenue to try. It also builds discipline.

Its still early in the school yr, perhaps yusuf is still adjusting, give him some time and im sure he will be more participate in class.

I knw as mothers we all worry and fret abt our kids but sometimes we do have to let them fly at their own pace.

With a little nudging from time to time of coz :-) "

Somehow i felt relieve after reading this.

Thank you dear.

I know you are a great mom to your beautiful kids, mika, sophia and hani bunny.

ÑitRah

P.s. The weird thing is, bila sampai je rumah, yusuf transforms into another person. Mulut tk stop bercakap, active. Potpetpotpetpotpet. Pot.

*tepuk dahi*

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My Little Pixie

2012-01-13T17:09:00.001+08:00

Sejak akhir akhir ni, saya jarang postkan pasal khadijah aliya, anak dara gedik saya.

Sian dia.

She will be five next month. How time flies. Mcm baru je rasanya saya meneran dia keluar, after four hours of labour pain and one hour of non stop contraction. Dahla tht was my first time bersalin normal, yusuf dulu thru c-section.

Dahla anak saya ni semangat, 4.2kg, no epidural, no vacumm, no forcep whatsoever. Saya teran on my own.

I was a supermom, according to my gynae, Dr Jean.

The magic thing abt normal delivery, as soon as the baby comes out, the pain goes out with it. Pastu rasa mcm dah lupa tht i actually went thru such horror.

Alhamdulillah.

She is a big girl now. Kuat melaram and chooses he own baju. Tention tau. Kita penat penat gosok baju ni, last last dia mengamok nk pakai baju lain. Layannnnn.

She was the cutest baby (i must say that coz she is mine, hehe). Ada masa she was abt one, mamat jepun ni siap ambik gambar dia. Byk pulak tu. Katanya cute baby.

Tapi masa dulu dulu org kot heran kalau tgk saya tolak stroller. Kok maknye hitam anaknye putih. Kok maknye tak cute, anaknye cute. Gitu.

Well anyways. Semua ketentuan Illahi. Saya bersyukur dapat anak sepasang ni.

Khadijah Aliya, anak ma. Love u much.

ÑitRah

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My Little Soldier

2012-01-12T07:42:00.001+08:00

I dont know how long or for how much longer aku nk risaukan pasal yusuf.

People say i worry too much abt him. Some people say, to just let him go on his own. Lepaskan dia, biar dia explore and experience sendiri, they say.

And yusuf pulak amat sentimentel orangnya. Cepat terasa, cepat menangis, cepat merajuk. He is so scared of people.

Aku suspek la dia jadi mcm ni sbb masa dia masuk tadika jadah tu when he was five, the jadah teacher and jadah friends made fun of his size. Tu yg his self confidence memang low sikit. I hope semua tu akan hilang son. I want him to have the confidence of an eight year old (jgnlah pulak over confidence kan).

Dahla anak bujang aku tu ada asthma.

:-(

Sekarang ni aku pulak rasa mcm sakit dada. Too much worry. Hubbs biasela akan kata : biarla dia. Humph.

Men.

ÑitRah

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My Poor Boy

2012-01-10T07:17:00.004+08:00

Tak sampai pun seminggu sekolah, yusuf dah dua hari cuti sakit. No, actually two n a half day. First day hari tu lepas recess aku bwk dia balik.

Ni la nasib kalau ada asthma.

Alhamdulillah aku n hubbs tkde, dijah pun ok. Tp yusuf ikut adik n eezal, his aunty and uncle. People say bila dah besar semput tu hilang. Tapi my brother who is thirty somthing pun masih ber-inhaler.

Doc kata asthma ni mcm nyawa. Kalau dah mcm sesak napas tu jangan tunggu lama. Terus ke hospital.

Last nite yusuf dah batuk non stop for abt half hour. Thats it la. Bawak terus ke gleneagles at abt 11ish.

Maka mc la anak bujang aku. Fyi, aku mmg kurang suka dia absent from school. Banyak ketinggalan nanti.

Ye, saya amat seperti kiasu mom. Gitu.

ÑitRah

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Quotes

2012-01-06T18:01:00.001+08:00

LIFE DOES'NT GET ANY EASIER,

ONLY WE HAVE

BECOME STRONGER.

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Std Two

2012-01-04T13:10:00.001+08:00

Wah. Hari ni saya bagun awal. Pukul 540am dah bangun. Subuh. Siapkan yusuf. His breakfast then off to school. Ramainya ibubapa. Met some mommies yg dah almost two months tak jumpa. And one daddy. Eheh.

This year yusuf masuk 2intelek. Alhamdulillah. Its the first class. Lokasi kelas dia pun best. Ground floor and near the school gate, saya boleh lambai dia kalau saya nak.

Cikgu kelas dia is puan maliana. His english teacher last year. Nice lady.

Yg tak bestnya, yusuf demam dari mlm tadi. So i had to take him home right after recess. Panas badan dia. *kesian anak ma*

I hope he gets well soon.

ÑitRah

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Dua Puluh Dua Belas (bah. 3)

2012-01-01T22:27:00.001+08:00

So. Yeah we went to klia today. Best. Everything went great despite the weather was burning hot. Aku rasa kulit aku dah gelap satu tona gitu.

The klia ekspres was smooth and it took us 28 minutes from kl sentral to klia. Pretty cool. Kalau aku travel sorang sorang and bwk back pack je, harus aku take this cool hastle free mode of transport.

Lama jugak kat klia td. Lama tk ke sana. Bila dah lama lama kat sana mula lah berangan dalam hati nk ke LA semula. And ada masa tu teringat kat arwah ayah. Dulu dulu ada gak hantar arwah ayah ke klia.

Owh, we had lunch there and bought rm200 worth of chocolates. *konon la nk start diet kan thn ni*. Huhu.

Tetiba kata kat hubbs.. Sayg, kita simpan duit nak? Tahun depan boleh la kita gi kuching. Nak ke langkawi, kejap sgt on the flight.

Kuching is a good place to visit. Been there once. Kesian yusuf dok kata : nak tak nanti kita naik katerbang, mama? *kesian ank aku*

Kalau ada rezeki lebih, nak bawak yusuf ke hk disneyland. Ada toystory land. Besss kan.

Okies.. Thanks.. Byes..

ÑitRäh xo

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My Bosses :)

2012-01-01T19:37:00.001+08:00

This was at Alamanda, Putrajaya on new year's eve. Aku rasa la anak anak aku ni kan very lucky. Dah besar pun manja yg amat. Esp. Yusuf. Apa nk dapat. Kalau tak dapat air mata bertakung. Tp kadang tu aku bohlayan je, pastu aku akan membebel and say things like "masa mama kecik dulu takde masa tau wan nak melayan perangai mcm ni".

Memang bertuah.

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Dua Puluh Dua Belas (bah. 2)

2012-01-01T19:23:00.001+08:00

Us before getting on the klia express. We did a lot of walking today. Saya tk kisah, masih larat. As long as my shoes are comfy and preferably flats la kan. And a good sturdy sling bag. Here i am with my faithful 3 year old kipling. And always invest in a good pair of shoes. I use clarks or crocs. Mahei la sikit, tp memang sedap pakai.

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Dua Puluh Dua Belas (bah. 1)

2012-01-01T18:57:00.001+08:00

Kami decided to start this new yr rounding KL...naik monorail. The last time aku naik monorail masa pregnantkan yusuf. Hoh. Lama dah tu. Kids dah excited dah. Parked our car near Jln Pekeliling, pastu naik monorail terus ke last station, kl sentral.

The kids were super excited on the monorail. They went uuu mama look at that, uuu mama itu masjid kan, mama tu berjaya times square kan.. And so on.

It was a good first time experience for the kids. Sampai kl sentral, aku suggest kat hubbs, jom gi klia nak? Naik klia ekspress. Menarik idea saya, lalu hubbs pun setuju.

Moh le..

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Magnificient!

2011-12-31T23:33:00.001+08:00

HAPPY TWENTY TWELVE!

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Tahun Ini

2011-12-31T08:45:00.001+08:00

Today is the last day of 2011.

What happened this year?

Yusuf masuk std one. Dijah pulak second year at her pre school. My weekdays memang sibuk jadi drebar. Many proud moments for me as their mom. Dijah pandai tulis ABC, kenal huruf, pandai tulis nombor, her colouring is improving.

Aku jadi cikgu kat rumah for both of them esp. Yusuf. I must make sure he does well in school coz i know that he can do it.

For me pulak, biasa lah azam aku for the yr of 2011 tak tercapai jugak. Azam nak kurus tu aku buat setiap tahun tapi tak penah tercapai. Boley? Coz i just love food. Cant resist them.

Owh tahun ni jugak aku changed. No more "pushover" ros. I wont let people bodoh bodoh kan aku dah. Ada kawan yg cakap asal boleh je kat aku, aku akan tak layan org tu. Sounds bad kan? Biarla org tu bbm aku ke, sms aku ke, call aku ke. Aku tkkan layan. Hoh!

Lets end this year dgn rasa penuh kesyukuran. Aku tahu mana kawan, mana penipu, mana yg menggunakan aku. Biarlah kawan aku sikit but those yg sikit tu adalah yg terbaik gitu.

Mungkin aku tarik balik apa yg penah aku ckp dulu. We CAN have our husband as our bff. Hehe. Aku rasa hubby aku lah org yg paling tahu perangai bini dia and can still live with her. Gaduh gaduh pun baik balik. Ada problem aku akan share with him. Maybe he is my bff. Maybe.

Ah well..

Im wishing ang hoping 2012 will be a better year for all of us. I hope that Allah Taala will protect us and have mercy on us.

Till next year, au revoir.

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My Current Affair

2011-12-30T12:54:00.001+08:00

Bau yang dicari cari selama ni. Menepati selera saya. Does my nose buds justice. I love love looooveee it! Its Lancôme' HYPNÔSE. Ladies, go grab this one. Yeah saya tau ni bukan keluaran baru but who cares. Bau bessssstttt!

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Tiba Tiba

2011-12-28T15:17:00.001+08:00

Macam tiba tiba je aku ada banyak story nk masuk kat blog ni. Actually dulu dulu pun banyak nk story tp ada sedikit malas.

Aku nk citer kat sini yang aku ni bukan lah seorg kawan yg perfect. Who knws bila ada yg baca entry aku smlm berkata kata dalam hati kan. So i just wanna say tht i am not perfect, i make mistakes too. But one thing for sure saya tkkan maki hamun, saya tkkan guna bahasa 'macam bagus' . But i am good at being sarcastic. I think. Huhu.

Pernah tak experience situasi mcm ni :

Me : *dalam hati* miss kat mm.

Tiba tiba masuk bbm from mm bertanya khabar.

Pretty cool kan.

It always happen to me.

We are so connected,

She and me.

Not trying to blow my own horn here, but i think i am a pretty good friend. Kalau tak takkan lebih dari 3 org mengaku saya ni bff dia kan.

I was like that too. Orang baik sikit dgn aku, aku anggap dia tu best friend aku. Sungguh cetek pengalaman. Owh sekarang tidak lagi. I have grow older and wiser. Berhati hati.

Arghh. Another one week to go before school re opens. Dah rasa dah bahang nya.

On the other hand, cant wait to see kak ita. Seorg ibu kepada anak yg sebaya dgn yusuf. She is one cool lady. Suka borak dgn dia. Shes a little senior and she has a lot of experience in raising kids. She has 4, btw. And the eldest and second dah kerja pun. A QS and an architect. Kelas kan.

To my friends yg anak nak masuk sekolah next week, all the best!

Ok, anak anak. Thanks for dropping by.

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Why?

2011-12-27T20:58:00.001+08:00

Recently an old friend whom MM and i nicknamed Dingin, has been giving me this 'macam bagus' attitude. Aku memang dah tau perangai dia mcm tu tapi aku rasa at this age, sudah sudah la.

Ada one time tu aku malas nk reply bbm dia. Bukan malas sgt sebenarnya tp masa tu aku kat luar. Takkan berjalan sambil menaipkan. So bila sampai dalam keta nak balik i checked my bb and found this : "why didnt u reply? What's with the attitude". Kelas tak bahasa dia? Bukan urgent matter sangat ponnnn!

It took me a while to reply, sebab kalau reply lepas baca tu harus aku bahasakan dia jugak. Showed hubby and he asked me to totally ignore her bbm. Laki aku lagi kelas, terus soh buat silent treatment. That happened a couple of days ago.

Totally dislike her for that.

She (and most of them) would probably think "alaa ros.. Dia ok, takde hal.. Dia takkan marah balik". Well, you are right. Aku takkan marah balik but i will give you the silent treatment. Im a silent killer gitu.

MM, come home quick!

P.s. : hi Am! Hehe.. Yup kak ros akan rajin update blog lepas ni ;-)

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Debor

2011-12-26T23:46:00.001+08:00

While other people go to America, Middle East and down under. My family and i spent three days in Melaka.

We were there in May just this year, and we went back last week. I dont know why but i just loooveee Melaka. The fifth time and we stayed at the same hotel - Equatorial. The best.

Gambar rasanya tak perlu nak tayang sebab they are almost the same as the ones from May trip.

Owh this post is gonna be a little different coz im typing using Samsung Galaxy Tab. Wah. Gitu.

Very excited. Debor je nak guna. Tiap kali bila blur ala-ala buta IT, adik-adik saya jadi mangsa jadi tutor. Ehehe. Owh begitu jua suamiku..

Ok, ta ta!

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Not An Option

2011-12-15T21:37:00.001+08:00

As I was heading towards my 8th wedding anniversary, I remembered a chat I had with an old friend a couple of months ago. A good friend she is, mother of seven, beautiful, a good solid head on her shoulders. Envy her.

Her words of wisdom :

"In marriage, NEVER put a divorce as an option to escape or to run away from problems. When in trouble, solve it together, talk it out. So, when there is a NEVER, we cant run away. We only have each other."

Best tak?

Of course, she's a person with a good heart, pure, and is close to Allah Taala.

But I think we can all do it. With the help of the Almighty.

Jatuhkan talak itu adalah halal yang hampir dengan haram. Right?

Eheh..

Also a reminder for me.

Okay, children. Terima kasih kerana sudi membaca blog saya.

xo

Lapan

2011-12-15T21:16:00.001+08:00

HAPPY 8TH WEDDING ANNIVERSARY TO US

ALHAMDULILLAH

13dec2011

Bukan senang nk stay married.

Cuba tanya mak-mak kita,

sonang ke susah?

Haaa tak senang, you.

Kena banyak sabaaaarrrrrrr

dan sabaaaarrrrrrrrr

Kena bertolak ansur

Jangan suka membebel (tapi saya selalu bebel kat hubs!)

Kadang kena tutup mata sebelah

Kena selalu gelak ketawa

Pendek kata,

Apa yang penting?

KERJASAMA

Both parties kena buat

Kalau sebelah je yang buat, one day akan meletup gak.

Apa-apa pun saya bersyukur.

p.s. kita sehidup semati okeh, hubs?

What Makes Us Happy?

2011-12-02T19:03:00.000+08:00

Adakalanya saya terpikir faktor apa kah yang buat kita happy?

money?

wealth?

beauty?

having children?

having a good supportive soul mate?

being thin?

being chubby?

health?

Hmmm. My answer would be MONEY! eheh..

Betul ke kalau ada banyak duit boleh buat kita happy?

Becoz why, with money kita boleh kawen, with money kita boleh pegi hospital kalau sakit hence having a good health, with money kita boleh make sure that our kids are happy, with money, we can bring our fat body to the weight management programme thingy or sign up to a gym, with money we can also make other people happy. Betul tak?

So, bila couple yang nak kawen dok kata "ulat dalam batu pun boleh makan" really, get real ok.

Tapi apa-apa pun rezeki di tangan Allah Taala..

All I can say is : Alhamdulillah. Rezeki saya tak pernah padam. Rezeki di sini bukan bermakna wang sahaja tapi termasuk la roof over our heads, rice on our plates, a good health, having my two monsters grow before my eyes, having my mother with me all the time.

So the bottom line is happiness comes from within. Having a good "relationship" with Allah Taala will definately brings us more rezeki. Insyaallah.

Thanks for dropping by.

2011 - School's Over!

2011-11-23T21:39:00.002+08:00

Cuti sekolah dah start.

Lega YD dah cuti sekarang and he survived Year One of Primary school. And I am proud of him coz he did well for his final exams and dia naik ke kelas pertama tahun depan. Alhamdulillah. Segala tunjuk ajar saya berbaloi.

Tak plan lagi nak kemana cuti ni. Kalau pegi pun kena tunggu KA cuti which is at the end of December. Pre-school dia cuti nak X'mas nanti.

YD wants to go to Melaka, again, sebab kali ni ada attraction baru. Muzium Kapal Selam di Klebang, Melaka. Memang menarik bunyinya kan. Hmmm maybe Melaka again, we go. Insyaallah.

Out of boredom and somewhat sick of my hair I permed it today! I cant remember the last time I permed it. And I love it. Kembang-kembang gitu rambut saya.

Okies, sampai sini saja coretan montel mom kali ni. To my friends yang selalu membaca blog yang tak seberapa ni : Zura, Am, Zal and Wan. Mucho gracias!

Muzium Negara

2011-10-30T11:32:00.001+08:00

Kami sekeluarga ke Muzium Negara semalam. Tak ingat dah when was the last time aku ke sana. Mungkin dah dekat 20 years dah kot. We decided to go there yesterday. Mula-mula plan nak ke Zoo Negara tapi dah dekat tengahari, sure parking pun penuh, sure orang pun ramai. Tu sebab tukar plan. But tak sia-sia la. It was fun. Yusuf minat menda-menda macam tu rupanya. Since dia pun dah pandai baca, lagila dia seronok. And to top it all, ada pameran Khazanah Kapal Karam.

Here are some of the pictures taken :

: this train has been there since like forever! :

: Anak-anak aku nikan suka ambik gambar tak pandang kamera tau! :

: My baby and I, another baby merajuk sudah, takmoh ambik gambar! :

: Utop top boputop! :

: My babies :) :

: the entrance :

: Us. Love :

: Utop with basikal tentera Jepun :

My Baby Turns 7!

2011-10-30T11:03:00.000+08:00

Saya lambat masukkan post birthday anak teruna saya.

Yusuf Danial
umur 7 tahun
pada 23 september 2011
mama sayang utop bagai nak rak
cuma mama ni kuat meroyan
huhu

: truly he is my knight in shining armour, my life, my bantal peluk! :

Orang Tua

2011-10-08T11:33:00.000+08:00

Orang tua.

Perasan tak orang tua suka bercerita? Cuma kita (yang muda sikit ni) antara nak dengar atau tidak, nak melayan atau tidak.

This brings back sweet memories and some regrets in my life. Arwah Ayah ada banyak cerita. About his life, his childhood, his hard life back then, how he went to school on his own (pastu terpinga-pinga bila cikgu panggil Abdul Rahim, coz Ayah ingatkan nama dia Yusuf, coz Wan and Tok Ki called him that), how he went to do his Form 6 in Johore, how he fought with bullies in Uni and so on. Tok Ki was a fisherman, and Ayah during his childhood would wait by the sea and helped Tok Ki.

I have regrets in my life. I regretted not having more conversations with Ayah. I regretted not asking him how he was in the politics and why (some) people hated him.

But I am grateful in many other ways.

"Regrets.. i have a few.. but then again.. too few to mention.."

Anyways. Yeah. Orang tua. They have sooo many to tell. If only we are interested to listen.

My FIL, is 82. Boy, he has a lot to tell. Sometimes I listen, sometimes I am lost.

: my FIL, SIL, BIL and Biras :

24 September, again

2011-09-24T20:48:00.000+08:00

Two years already.

My blog post this same day last year.

Kau tetap di hati ku.

Above All

2011-09-19T11:39:00.000+08:00

above all the laughter
the eating
the happy times
the un-happy times
the salam bersalaman time
the bagi duit raya time
the going for open houses time
the crazy-eat-even-tho-not-hungry-time

there is always a hole in my heart that cannot be filled
our second raya without dearest ayah
miss bersalaman with him
miss the kopi-o pekat we had early in the morning before heading to sembahyang raya
miss the nasik dagang he always ordered for raya
miss the riuh rendah and laughter of the pakcik pakcik from surau in our living hall
miss him

al-fatihah

Of Others

2011-09-19T11:29:00.000+08:00

: mummy dearest and acik :

: Two macho boys, Yusuf with cousin Imran Hazry :

: They are the reason I am sane, or it is the other way around!! haha :

: Of cousins and sisters and one aunty, ce teka yang mana aunty saya ? :
* issh.. vontot-vontot! *

: I suka gambar ni, you. It makes me one of them, slim and tall! haha. Tektiknya, sorokkan badan ye, kawan-kawan! :

: The only friend of mine who came for raya (pathetic sungguh), beautiful Emy and hubby, Din :

: ahhh.. last but not least, Miss Red Velvet on our dining table for hari raya. Crazy, huh? :

Shades of Green of Raya 2011

2011-09-19T10:52:00.000+08:00

: Happy together, InsyaAllah :

: Yusuf Danial & Khadijah Aliya :

Incident Satu Syawal

2011-09-07T12:58:00.000+08:00

Hoh! Dah lama tak udate blog saya ni. Just couldnt find the time (and a good interesting story) to share here!

I hope we all had a good Ramadhan and a good first Syawal.

I had a good first Syawal. Meeting relatives, eat, meeting relatives, eat some more, snapping pictures and eat some more. Eyh, wait. Ada incident yang buat aku hangin satu badan la on the first of Syawal tuuu..

Orang kata sabar Ta sabar.. Tapi knowing aku ni sememang nya bersifat baran dan I dont take all these nonsense at all. I am a no nonsense person. Kalau kau salah kau tetap salah regardless of what your status is to me.

Bukan nak menaik kan darah aku semula but, bila aku ingat balik apa yang terjadi sakiiiittt hati! Orang macam tu boleh di kategorikan dalam golongan orang kurang ajor, no manners, no respect to my mom etc etc.. Apa, ko ingat rumah aku ni studio???? Ko ingat aku ni orang gaji??? Ko tahu tak ayah aku dah takde?? You out of no where hu haa hu haaa kat rumah aku. Eyh hello, ni rumah ayah saya. Ayah saya dah takde. Bengap!

I think I can tolerate orang sombong or orang berlagak. Tapi kalau orang kurang ajor pada famili saya, NO CAN DO, Man!

And in the first place, DO I KNOW YOU?? And DO YOU KNOW ME????

Takkan??

So long sucker!

Anyways..

2011-07-29T10:26:00.000+08:00

Here's a picture I wanna share. A to tha L I F - Alif!

: i know i am old enough to be his mom,
but give this guy another five years
and he'll be too hawt to handle, i tell ya! :

2011-07-29T10:11:00.001+08:00

DON'T YOU JUST HATE BEING INVISIBLE?

I KNOW I DO.

SOMETIMES, THEY SEE OTHERS BUT NOT YOU.

MACAM MALU KOT NAK NGAKU THAT WE ARE CLOSE FRIENDS INFRONT OF HER OTHER CLOSE FRIENDS.

WELL..

WHAT CAN I SAY.

YOU NEED A PAIR OF NEW SPECTACLES. MORE POWER. SO THAT YOU CAN SEE EVERYONE AND EVERYTHING.

THANK YOU.

Ayahandaku

2011-07-22T13:54:00.000+08:00

: the man I love most, the man who gave me my life.
Ayah, you are always in my thoughts and prayers :

A Busy and Sick Week It Was!

2011-07-22T13:42:00.001+08:00

Last week was a week where everyone in my family got sick.

Dah lama aku tak demam teruk macam tu. Last-last kena jugak. Aku demam, batuk, selsema, sejuk tulang kaki dan tangan. Pendek kata, rasa nak pengsan. Yusuf pun sama jugak, tapi mamat tu lagi kesian sebab sekali dengan semput dia. Nak taknak terpaksa bawak dia ambik oxygen kat Gleneagles KL. Kalau asthma memang tu lah kerja nye, ambik oxygen. Sebab dalam badan tak cukup oxygen.

Well anyways, Alhamdulillah semuanya dah sihat sekarang. Yusuf tak ke sekolah selama empat hari. Suka la dia kan.

Masa mula-mula aku demam tu kan aku ingat kan aku pregnant. Dahla si Abu bulan ni lambat datang. Panik sekejap. Tapi aku dah tawakkal kalau pregnant pun pregnant la. Nak buat mcmana kan. Lagi-lagi sekarang ni dua kawan geng mak-mak kat sekolah Yusuf pregnant. Emy and Nani. But then again, they are in their early 30s, so takpe lah nak pregnant pun. Depa sibuk soh aku pregnant sekali. Seronok pregnant ramai-ramai! Almost reconsidered that but withdrew that thoughts almost immediately too. Lagipun Hubby kata.. cukup la dua......

Kemusykilan sikit la. Or maybe not so musykil la.. Tapi kan, nape ye kalau orang tu dah kawen kan, and is still married, dia boleh "fall in love" dengan orang lain still?

Musykil la sangat kan..

Ok, children.. Renung-renung kan lah.

2011-07-09T21:57:00.000+08:00

Sometimes some friends offended me but never realised it.

Sometimes someone who are dear to me hurt me indirectly like saying things about my appearance, "eh, kau diet lagi tak?" Nampak sangat aku ni tak attractive langsung kan.

Sometimes I thought I have been friendly and nice enough but people still talk back about me behind my back.

Sometimes some friends just want to share their happines and achievement like they bought some RM7k handbag or buying a new house or a new car or earning RM15k per month. The thing they never realised is it somehow saddened me becoz I dont have all that.

Yup.

Sometimes maybe I just need to learn to be more un-sensitive?

Maybe.

Hari Sukan SKDP 25Jun2011

2011-07-08T14:02:00.000+08:00

: Yusuf berbaris bersama-sama teman sepasukan merah :

: anakku yang semangat! mama loves you, beybeh :

: GO RED! :

: brass band from SMK Cockrane.. COOL! :

: my life :

: YAAY! :

Twenty Eight Years of Friendship!

2011-06-20T12:13:00.000+08:00

That's Kavi, Wan and yours truly.

Yup close up.

U can see the wrinkles and uneven skin tones and baggy eyes.

haha.

But let me tell you.

We are special.

Coz not many of us who still keep in touch after 28 years.

So much fun. So much laughter. Wan came up with Beyonce's All The Single Ladies.

But I am more into JLo.

We had fun On The Floor!

SuperPunyeGirls!

We first met here some 20 something years ago.
BBGS dynamite, dont play with dynamite, hey hey hey!

Our meeting place (18june2011), once where our majestic school was.

Father's Day, again.

2011-06-19T11:17:00.000+08:00

Today is Father's Day.

I thought it was last Sunday and I went wishing all the male friends "Father's Day".. hehe.

I went to my dad's this morning. A little sadness came to me as I left his resting place. Suddenly all the sweet memories I had with him came back to me.

I became closer to him when I started to work myself. And even closer when I have my own kids. It automatically happened.

I had conversations with him. We talked. We laughed (especially when the kids were around). The last ten years, we became close.

I miss him.

Whenever I dine out with the kids now, and when I helped Yusuf with cutting up his chicken chop or steak, I often think of my dad and how he did the same to me when I was little. Or when drying up the kids hair, brings me back to the time when my dad did that for me.

I miss him.

Because of him, I travelled the world.

Because of him, I am what I am today.

and

Because of him, I have changed...for better, InsyaAllah.

Happy Father's Day ~

The Hotel

2011-06-06T17:36:00.014+08:00

We stay at the Equatorial Hotel everytime we are in Melaka. Its the best hotel. The best. I dont need to stay at the other hotels becoz I know this is the best!!

The room rates are not fixed, it changes practically every month. Lucky for us, Hubby works for the Government, so orang gomen dapat discount skit. Jangan marah haa..

School Break Treat

2011-06-06T17:29:00.004+08:00

It was Melaka. My favourite destination for a short break from home. We come here every year. We stay at The Equatorial Hotel every time. I love Melaka. I am going to post some pictures here. Promoting Melaka and Equatorial to Puan Lina.

I Am Fortunate but not THAT Fortunate!

2011-05-27T18:59:00.002+08:00

Sometimes, some friends, kalau nak ajak aku keluar tu, jam tu jam tu jugak. No notice langsung. Aku ni tak la macam sesetengah tu yang very fortunate ada bibik yang boleh look after the kids and cook for them. I dont have all that. And satu lagi aku kurang suka bila aku cakap sesuatu masalah pada seseorang misalnya ; gemuk giler la aku sekarang ni. And they reply, kau pegi lah slimming center. Hello. Aku tak kerja. Laki aku bukan gaji puluhan ribu ok. Letihla orang macam ni. Some people think that aku ni sonang sangat ke? When this happens, aku rasa lagi tension.

Arrrgh.

BUT...

Its the school holidays!! Yabedabedoo!

Looking forward to our little Malacca trip next week.

Later.

Aku Heran la..

2011-05-26T20:52:00.004+08:00

Last week ada sorang kakak yang aku kenal kat sekolah Yusuf nak pinjam duit dari aku. Walaupun tak banyak tapi cik abang aku tak bagi. Katanya "nanti senang je, dia takde duit, terus cari u.." Aku rasa macam tu jugak. Bukan tak pernah kena. Dari time aku kerja, sampai ke dah kahwin ni ada je orang nak mintak pinjam duit. Apa, depa ingat aku banyak sangat duit kah?

Anyway, back to the akak yang nak pinjam duit tu. Esoknye aku cakap aku tak dapat tolong pasal duit tu. Siap mintak maaf bagai. And you know what? Dia terus tarik muka and until today bila nampak dia, dia buat-buat tak nampak je. Ada aku tegur dia dua hari lepas, siap panggil nama dia lagi, and she totally ignored me!!

Aku heran la orang macam ni. Perangai so-i-dont-know-what-to-say. I dont even know her and I am pretty sure she doesnt know or doesnt remember my name. Sebab kalau panggil aku tu main "eh eh" gitu je. Suka hati je kan..

Tipikal. Pantang baik sikit nak pinjam duit la, nak tumpang soh hantar merata la..

Obladi Oblada

2011-05-14T10:23:00.004+08:00

As of today, saya telah berjaya membayar segala hutang credit card(s) saya!!

So no more tiap bulan termenung depan screen computer sambil mengira-ngira berapa kena bayar, berapa yang tinggal dalam bank, berapa yang boleh belanja. Yada yada yada..

I have two credit cards and they are now debt-free. Yahooooo!

Sekarang ni saya cuma ada hutang kereta sahaja. Itu pun semput gak nak bayar tiap bulan tapi takpe la. I love my mini cooper!! Huh, mini cooper ke? Hehe.

Anyways, I have not been updating my blog like I used to. Mainly becoz I am lazy and sometimes the internet connection is stupid and sometimes I just dont have the time and sometimes I just dont have anything to share here. Just like this one. Tah apepe tah.

Other than these usual things. I am still missing my father. Always. I dont know why sekarang ni selalu lak dengar "Masih kah kau ingat" on the radio and the other day ada pulak slot apetah kat TV with Kopratasa as their guest. Owh, that was my father's favourite song ever. He used to sing it out loud in the car when we went for our "pusing" trip petang-petang, when I was much younger that is.

Obladi Oblada Life Goes On.

Miss you much, Ayah. Still.

Twenty Third April

2011-04-23T09:37:00.002+08:00

Its my party and I cry if I want to, CRY if I want to!

ALHAMDULILLAH.

Saya di beri peluang untuk hidup setahun lagi. Kalau di pikirkan dah banyak sangat 'tests' dari NYA ke atas diri saya. They are all reminders to me. Remind me that HE can take me whenever HE wants.

Macam tahun lepas saya di diagnose kan ada skin cancer. Tapi Allah sayangkan saya, dan beri saya peluang untuk hidup lagi dan bertaubat kepadaNYA. Macam-macam lagilah dugaan. Nak share kat sini, pun tak tahu macamana nak mulakan. In short, I've been through some rough roads in life.

ALHAMDULILLAH.

Semuanya masih di panjankan umur oleh NYA.

So, tonite is the celebration. Celebration la sangat kan. Takat potong kek je. Dan amik gambar. And I am looking forward to the presents I am getting (perasan sudah!).

Later.

Mr Hubby

2011-04-19T11:08:00.002+08:00

: the only man who can tolerate my stubbornness and hot tempered-ness and ugliness :

I'm Walking On Sunshine.. woohoo!

2011-04-19T10:39:00.003+08:00

Do you know how it feels being a friend to someone oh so good looking?

Well, I know I do!

:-)

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I often come across statements like "I am married to my best friend" or "I'm so lucky to have my bestfriend as my wife" or "My boyfriend IS my best friend".

Bukan jeles bukan dengki.

Tapi to me its just too much pretentious going on there. Ok maybe your boyfriend or girlfriend is your best friend but your husband is your bestfriend?? That's a little too over the rainbow. Kalau ada pun, 1 dalam 1550 pasang pasangan.

If I were to marry my best friend, I'd be the first in this country to do so. Coz my bestfriend is a girl! heee~

WEML.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Whenever I see that oh so good looking person, I'd be walking on clouds or walking on sunshine (altho its pouring).

Whenever I see that oh so good looking person, I'd be thinking, masyaAllah, sungguh cantik ciptaanMu..

Whenever I see that oh so good looking person, I'd go hey, how you're doin! *dalam hati laa*

Whenever I see that oh so good looking person, I'd think, hey, there are still hope for people like me to be friends with people like that. Just be nice, be friendly and be yourself, your original self, DO NOT berlakon.

I know, I know I am a wife with 10 kids, but hey, a girl can have that little "entertainment", right?

Renung-renungkan lah.

;-)

Heddo, People!

2011-04-15T10:24:00.004+08:00

Assalamualaikum..

Kum apa? Kum bat. Bat apa? Bat man. Man apa? Man(men)tol. Tol apa? Tolak. Lak apa? Lakse. Se apa? Sepak! *dushh*

Hahaha. Something silly and stupid that I used to play like a zillion years ago. And there was another thing or a song that I used to sing with the kids back then. Something that went : tebang-tebang tebu kuala sawa... lallalalalala la. Cant remember. Silly and stupid and never failed to put a smile on my face. And not forgetting the "police entry" which literally means police and thief. Kelakar giler.

Suddenly I am travelling through time a zillion years ago when I was 6 or 7. I was Yusuf's age. Everything seemed so simple and fun and no school homeworks. Bila tengok life Yusuf now, kesian kat dia. Everything is a competition. People ask (I do too sometimes) "anak you masuk swimming class?", "anak you main piano tak"?, "how's yusuf in his class?". I never blamed all these mothers, its just the way things are right now. When my answer to most of the questions with a NO, the other mother will feel relief? No?

Well, anyway, today I am not gonna go into details of what is happening in and around Yusuf's school. Dah bosan dah nak amik pot. As long as my son is not injured physically, that's fine with me. I think all these while I worry too much about him (but I just cant help it). I just want the best for him in education and in his social life. But I am just a little tired nowadays. And I get edgy most of the time.

Age maybe?

Speaking of age, I am gonna be 100 soon. Haha. This year, everything seems so dull and blur. Some friends ask me what I wish for on my borthday. I dont know, really. My doa will always be to have a meaningful life, to live another 100 years so that I can see and play with my grandchildren, to be healthy, to be happy, to be nearer to HIM.. Well these are my doa everytime after my solah. So, basically, I just want that. Hubby dok tanya "you nak apa birthday ni?" *dalam hati berkata : just want you to be nice and love me unconditionally at all time* Boleh ka? But kalau bagi present pun saya suka! Haha.

Really.

I am not afraid to be old. Especially when most people I met said I look 10 years younger!! woohoo! woot woot! C'mon, dont tell me when someone said that to you, your heart didnt jump up and down and put a big grin on your face?! Well, I did. And it lasted for days, I tell ya. *big grin*

Okels children, gotta go now. I am looking forward to my birthday, soon.

p.s. Clarins, you're gonna help me with those fine lines, right? :-D

Yikes!

2011-03-23T21:16:00.003+08:00

Have you ever wonder how we will look like in 20, 30 maybe 40 years time? I never wanted to know how I will look, really. But, nevertheless.....

: me now (thanks, adek *wink*) :

: dijah cakap : mummyyy hantuuuuu! :

muahahahahahaaa!!

p.s. thank you sis for this! i'll make sure i get them some botox! hahaha. NOT!

Melawat Dinosor dan Pelajari Sains

2011-03-17T21:00:00.008+08:00

Kami ke Pusat Sains Negara semalam (16.03.11).

Verdict?

Ok lah, especially if you have some young ones. Diorang yang excited. We were charge RM25.00 for a family of two adults and two kids.

The Dinosaurs were cool. Altho Yusuf was a little scared in the beginning, thinking that the dinos were gonna eat him up (macam citer Jurassic Park, barangkali!).

Here are some of our pictures.

: nice shot. but i kinda look like a plus size ustazah here :

: our little confident looking queen :

: when i grow up, i want to be an astronaut becoz i want to go to the moon! :

: the large dinos and crowd :

: the giant teropong *hubby macam nak ajar yusuf dancing je tu!* :

: telipon telipon lama :

Cuties On The Loose!

2011-03-14T21:13:00.005+08:00

SKDP had their Malidur Rasul Celebration last Friday (11 March 2011). They went for berarak around the DP flats. Its a pity I didnt bring my digicam. Guna hpcam je hence the blurrish and not so sharp pictures. They all looked so cute in their baju melayu and baju kurung.

: yusuf and his classmates :

: and off they went! :

: yusuf and rayyan, one of his good friends :

Life Is A Bi*ch. Sometimes.

2011-03-14T20:34:00.005+08:00

Yeah.

And life is funny too. Sometimes.

Life has many bumpy rides, roller coaster rides, you name it.

Dont get me started on the MARRIAGE life! Too complicated! Sometimes, the other half comes home with a hurricane.. And leave us, the remaining half wondering what we did or didnt do. Hence the questionaire from the wondering half to the hurricane half. Which usually leads to SILENCE is GOLDEN mode from the hurricane half. *Mrs Amer, you know what I mean!*

At the end of the day, it is usually the wondering half who gives in, regardless of how painful or embarassing or losing their egos it is. We give in. Always. But, hurricane half, remember, there is always a limit. So, dont push it.

I envy those who are still single. Sometimes.

Owh the funny part of life?

Being friends with a gorgeous looking man around. Why is it funny? Coz he's gorgeous and we ARE friends. Ok. That's not so funny.

Oh well.

I wish that I am not so approachable and friendly. Sometimes.

I have been a nice person, I think, sometimes. And sometimes, people like to be close to me, talking and all. I like that, dont get me wrong. I dont know what I am sayng here, really. I am going cuckoo.

On the lighter note. I love my Mr Berry so very much. Why? Coz I can bbm with my buddy in Cape Town and ask her about her diet plan. I will not trade it for something else. Really.

Life can be sweet too. Sometimes.

We need to put more sugar and caramel and golden syrup into it!

Comei

2011-03-04T11:03:00.000+08:00

: yusuf and his buddy nicky, so cute together! :

2011-02-27T13:02:00.002+08:00

TWO WAY COMMUNICATION

THE

BEST

SOLLUTION

ANY

MARITAL PROBLEM.

KALAU LAKI DIAM

BINI JE YANG CAKAP

TAKDE MAKNA NYERR.

What A Feeling!

2011-02-20T11:28:00.003+08:00

Sometimes I just need to "masuk bakul angkat sendiri" la.

*grin*

Thanks to MM and WAH for your support and understanding. *muahhhsss*

Its nothing big, just a small tiny itsy bitsy spider thingy.

Its just two spirits enjoying the company of each other.

Nothing more.

Zero.

Nil.

On Loan

2011-02-15T11:30:00.003+08:00

10 February 2011
my dearest nenek passed away
she was 83

i have many many fond memories of my nenek
she was a great nenek
never lost her temper on any of us, her grand kids

i remembered she used to cook lots of food
especially on weekends
becoz that was when we all came to visit her

but since two years ago
she got sick
she couldn't talk or walk
and just seeing her that time
hurt me so bad

may you rest in peace my dear nenek
you will be in my prayers and mind for always
insyaAllah

~Hasnah binti Ibrahim
25 june 1928 - 10 feb 2011
Al-Fatihah~

p.s. : i realised now that everything we own and everything we have right now is on loan. Allah Taala and only Him is permanent.

Queen Control, yeah.

2011-02-08T19:05:00.004+08:00

I thought that I loved Queen Control, you know its when a husband is being controlled by the wife. Macam cool je bila si suami mengikut kata dan takut kepada si isteri.

NOT.

It is different kalau si suami care pasal si isteri, manjakan si isteri. Itu amat di alu-alukan.

Tapi being controlled by the wife is something that should not be happening. Things like, "abang jangan nak pandai-pandai ye guna credit card beli barang, guna cash" or "mana duit saya? saya nak beli bag LV ni, saya tak kira saya nak jugak awak bank in kan RM5k tu hari ni!" *ok yang tu melampau sikit la* or "dengar cerita you selalu berborak dengan sorang pompuan ye pagi-pagi kat sekolah lepas hantar anak? sape dia org tu? jangan borak-borak dah dengan dia". Contohnya.

Bila terjadi, rasa-rasa macam kesian pun ada pada si suami. Takut kan isteri. Kadang tu benda yang di takutkan tu pun tah apa-apa. Nothing serious.

Kepada wifey, do you think that the husband suka ke kalau kena control macam tu gaya? Na'ah, I dont think so. Bila dah kena control gitu, they tend to find someone with a friendly face and approachable (not necesarily romantically involved) and pour their heart to them. You never know.

A reminder for myself too.

p.s. i tak control husband i, dia pun tak control i. we just learn to trust each other. but whatever it is, he still rules.

Whateva!

2011-01-31T21:43:00.004+08:00

Saya TAK suka tiba-tiba ada orang tanya

"taknak tambah anak lagi ke?"

kepada saya.

Lagi-lagi bila I dont even know you, man.

Baru jumpa sekali dua dah nak tanya macam tu.

Malays.. sometimes over friendly is really not necessary.

Owh and another Q from these strangers :

"Anak ke berapa ni?" (refering to Yusuf)

Bila jawab anak sulung... She gave me this look and said

"Akak dulu muda-muda lagi anak akak masuk sekolah"

Saya berkata dalam hati

"Look at you now, lady. S-E-R-A-B-A-I"

Again, over friendly is really not necessary.

Thank you.

2011-01-31T21:15:00.004+08:00

Baru-baru ni saya memang dah rasa nak shut down blog saya yang agak membosankan ini. I really did. Tapi tak jadi. Sebab? Ada jugak kawan-kawan saya yang masih membaca blog ni (you know who you are, thanks *hugs*)..

Lately, saya takde masa yang sesuai nak tulis. Sebab? Been a busy mom since Yusuf masuk sekolah.

Hah, sebut pasal sekolah, nak cerita pasal pengawas-pengawas kat sekolah Yusuf. Wahh kemain garang ye budak-budak tu. Kalau ye pun nak tunjuk power, please la not to those standard one kids. Kesian diorang. Ada yang nangis becos of these prefects. Kalau diorang marah Yusuf tak tentu pasal, akan aku masuk campur. Depa ingat aku takut sangat ke dengan badge pengawas tu?? Not at all, ok, NOT AT ALL. Dengan Guru Besar sekali pun saya berani.

Sekarang cuti sekolah seminggu for Chinese New Year. Saya suka! Na and family is coming to KL tomorrow. Yaay.

Weu

2011-01-22T20:59:00.003+08:00

Dah lama jugak tak update blog saya ni.

I have so much to tell but some things are better left unsaid.

---

Setiap pagi saya berjalan kaki bersama anak bujang saya ke sekolahnya. About 7mins to reach there and I usually take another route which takes about 13mins to reach home. Nak berpeluh sikit. Rush home to siapkan Dijah for her pre School which starts at 830am. So imaging the rush hour I go through every weekday mornings.

Nak masuk minggu ke 4 Yusuf ke sekolah. Everything seems to go A-OK, Alhamdulillah. Kes budak-budak kampung lagi kurang sopan tu biasa dan dah di tepiskan. Saya selalu kata kat Yusuf "biar orang lain buat, kita jangan buat.." So far Yusuf ok. Saya selalu kata doa pada Allah bila takut or bila susah. InsyaAllah.

Cerita selainnya, biasela. Kisah kegemukan saya yang tiada penghujungnya. Gemuk. Gemuk. Gemuk. Tapi saya happy. Macamana tu??

Well, anyways, I am blessed. Amin.

Ayah

2011-01-16T21:17:00.003+08:00

yes.. ayah is still fresh in my mind

although it has been over a year

although i do not blog about him as often

he is still there in my thoughts

still there in my dreams

.. and i miss him terribly.. everyday

al-fatihah

a.r.a.b.

7feb43 - 24sep09

Muka Saya

2011-01-07T13:14:00.004+08:00

: after three weeks, i am feeling much better, Alhamdulillah.

walaupun mata kiri saya besar dari mata kanan.. :

: woahh!! (that was my first impression when i saw this, after the dressing was removed!)

geli kan. sekali pandang people might think my eyebrow tatoo gone bad! :

: this was taken by adek with her canggih iPhone.

i had this dressing on for a week after my second operation

on the 15th of dec 2010 :

My Boo

2011-01-03T20:45:00.006+08:00

: my baby and i on the first day of school :

My baby, Yusuf Danial is Standard One this year.

He's at the SKDP, KL.

Sedih tengok dia beratur with his classmates with that backpack..

Tetiba teringat masa dia kecik-kecik, masa dia degil and masa dia being his age, masa saya selalu marah dia, rotan dia.... huuu.. I almost cried.

But Alhamdulillah, everything came out fine.

Thank you Allah.

Like every mother's dream and wish.. I hope that he will be a good kid, grow up to be someone useful. I wish him to be the perfect example to his sister. And most of all I wish him to be a good and responsible and a good slave to Him. Amin.

Solat Masa Dah Semput!

2010-12-17T20:42:00.006+08:00

Thanks to my friend, Mazlina Abu Bakar, for tagging me in this wonderful-boleh-buat-saya-insaf read in FB.

Na, baca sampai habis tauuu! Scarry gile. Ok, from now on, gotta bring that telekung everywhere I go. Must.

Happy reading, people!

A DELAY IN A PRAYER

There were only 15 minutes left before Salat-ul Ish...

He quickly made Wudhu and performed Salat-ul Maghrib. While making Tasbih, he again remembered his grandmother and was embarrassed by how he had prayed. His grandmother prayed with such tranquillity and peace. He began making Dua and went down to make Sajdah and stayed like that for a while. He had been at work all day and was tired, so tired. He awoke abruptly to the sound of noise and shouting. He was sweating profusely. He looked around. It was very crowded. Every direction he looked in was filled with people. Some stood frozen looking around, some were running left and right and some were on their knees with their heads in their hands just waiting. Pure fear and apprehension filled him as he realized where he was. His heart was about to burst. It was the Day of Judgment.When he was alive, he had heard many things about the questioning on the Day of Judgment, but that seemed so long ago.

Could this be something his mind made up?

No, the wait and the fear were so great that he could not have imaginedthis. The interrogation was still going on. He began moving frantically from people to people to ask if his name had been called. No one could answer him. All of a sudden his name was called and the crowd split into two and made a passageway for him. Two angels grabbed his arms and led him forward. He walked with unknowing eyes through the crowd. The angels brought him to the centre and left him there. His head was bent down and his whole life was passing in front of his eyes like a movie.

He opened his eyes but saw only another world. The people were all helping others. He saw his father running from one lecture to the other, spending hiswealth in the way of Islam. His mother invited guests to their house and one table was being set while the other was being cleared. He pleaded his case, I too was always on this path. I helped others. Spread the word of Allah. I performed my Salah. I fasted in the month of Ramadhan.Whatever Allah ordered us to do, I did. Whatever he ordered us not to do, I did not.

He began to cry and think about how much he loved Allah. He knew that whatever he had done in life would be less than what Allah deserved and his only protector was Allah. He was sweating like neverbefore and was shaking all over. His eyes were fixed on the scale, waiting for the final decision. At last, the decision was made.The two angels with sheets of paper in their hands, turned to the crowd. His legs felt like they were going to collapse. He closed his eyes as they began to read the names of those people who were to enter Jahannam. His name was read first.

He fell on his knees and yelled that this couldn't be,'How could I go to Jahannam? I served others all my life, I spread the word of Allah to others'. His eyes had become blurry and he was shaking with sweat. The two angels took him by the arms. As his feet dragged, they went through the crowd and advanced toward theblazing flames of Jahannam. He was yelling and wondered if there was any person who was going to help him. He was yelling of all the good deeds he had done, how he had helped his father, his fasts, prayers, the Noble Qur'an that he read, he was asking if none of them would help him.

The Jahannam angels continued to drag him.They had gotten closer to the Hellfire. He looked back and these were his last pleas.

Had not Rasulullah [SAW] said,'How clean would a person be who bathes in a river five times a day, so too does the Salah performed five times cleanse someone of their sins'? He began yelling, 'My prayers? My prayers? My prayers.?

The two angels did not stop, and they came to the edge of the abyss of Jahannam. The flames of the fire were burning his face. He looked back one last time, but his eyes were dry of hope and he had nothing left in him. One of the angels pushed him in. He found himself in the air and falling towards the flames.

He had just fallen five or six feet when a hand grabbed him by the arm and pulled him back. He lifted his head and saw an old man with a long white beard. He wiped some dust off himself and asked him, 'Who are you? The old man replied, 'I am your prayers'. 'Why are you so late! I was almost in the Fire! You rescued me at the last minute before I fell in'.

The old man smiled and shook his head,'You always performed me at the last minute, did you forget?' (And what of those who perform no prayers at all?).

At that instant, he blinked and lifted his head from Sajdah. He was in a sweat. He listened to the voices coming from outside. He heard the Adhan for Salat-ul Isha. He got up quickly and went to perform Wudhu. Pass this on to your friends and family. Maybe, you can help someone open their eyes Insha Allah. Jazaakallah for reading this. May Allah guide us all ameen..

Seven

2010-12-13T20:25:00.004+08:00

HAPPY WEDDING ANNIVERSARY TO US!

Seven years of togetherness,

seven years of happiness,

seven years of sadness,

seven years of laughter,

seven years of sacrifices.

You name it.. the bad the ugly the beautiful.

I've got it all.

But after all the dark clouds and thunderstorms and rain

there has always been a rainbow and I am still being loved, Insya Allah.

May this legal binding partnership stand tall and strong through thick and thin forever.

Amin.

Sedih Dan Insaf

2010-12-09T20:27:00.004+08:00

"Hello Rosnita, how are you today?"

"I'm good, thanks.. "

"Have a sit, Rosnita..

I have some bad news for you.."

*saya berkerut dan almost cried*

"So the result from the pathologists is not very good. They have very strong suspicion that the growth sample could be cancerous.."

*saya sumpah, jantung saya terhenti seketika*

And all I said was "haaah? really...????".

*sambil muka berkerut dan mata menahan air mata dari mengalir...*

Then this lovely doctor started to explain that it is not yet 100% confirmed. And if it is so I have to do another operation on the same spot but this time the cut will be bigger, part of the skin will be removed. It is not the kind of cancer that spread and it hasnt got any roots. Its NOT that dangerous and it is the most common cancer in the USA, about 2 million Americans alone are diagnosed with it every year. It is called Basal Cell Carcinoma of the skin, in simpler term, skin cancer.

Yeah, my heart torn a little. But I am strong, InsyaAllah. It teaches me to be a better servant to Him, pray harder, less talking shit, and learn to be thankful everyday.

Will be seeing Dr Lee again next week.

Ola!

2010-11-28T20:34:00.004+08:00

Remember the growth that I was telling about in my previous post? Well, I have got it removed last wednesday (24Nov10) at Gleneagles Kuala Lumpur, my favourite hospital. It was done by a very nice and friendly doctor, Dr Lee. *Many thanks Doc*

Arrived at around 8am, registered myself for the DayCare Unit (bcoz I didnt need to day overnight), and soon I was dressed in the hospital gown and was wheeled to the OT. I must have forgotten how scary and frightening it was to enter the OT (last experience was in 2004). Let me tell ya something, it was like going for a death sentence!

Of coz the procedure was not painful at all (altho the anesthetic jabs were WOW!), but being on only local anesthetic, I could hear and know what they are doing or saying altho they tried to calm me down with some music from Mix fm. Hah.

The growth was about 1 inch in length and 2cm in thickness, white in colour. They sent to the lab to analyse. So far no calls from the hospital. Its a good sign, right?

: this is my day bed, very comfy and clean with friendly and polite staff around, alhamdulillah. I was served milo and bread after the surgery and a good lunch here :

All in all it went well. Thank You, Allah Taala.

Now my left eyebrow is still dressed. The wound has not dried up yet. Going to see Dr Lee tomorrow.

p.s. : thanks for accompanying me, hubbs :)

The Precious Ones

2010-11-13T11:45:00.013+08:00

: abang and adik time diorang tak gaduh! :

: with the two kitties at home :

: my little angel :

: yaay, motor atok! :

: little miss hello kitty :

: tengah pilih gambar apa to put on his birthday cake that day :

: with her baby :

: my sick paddington bear waiting for his turn to see the doc :

: with her jessie the cowgirl :

I know I may seem like a horrible monster mom most of the time. But believe me they are the sunshine of my life, the rainbow after the rain, the apples of my eyes. Sometimes I wonder, what would I become if I didnt have them. A dull and boring life it'd be.

Cysts or Benign Growth?

2010-11-13T11:02:00.004+08:00

Lately the growth on my left eye brow has becoming a little painful and harden. Rasa macam kebas kebas and gatal sometimes. Not all the time sakit, ada masa masa dia. Are those a bad sign? Its been there for more than 10 years and had never been this bad.

Hmm macam macam penyakit aku ni selain dari "sakit hati".

: i have lost almost all my left eye brow hair(yang tak seberapa tu) :

I went to see my GP, Dr M, last Monday and she straight away gave me a General Surgeon contact number who happens to be her friend in GIMC (my favourite hospital). I am going to see him this Monday. At the same time I pray that it is nothing serious. Amin.

Tahun Satu

2010-11-13T10:32:00.003+08:00

For months aku dah rasa risau pasal Yusuf nak masuk Tahun 1 next year. So many things that I worry about my first born. Takut kena buli (coz he's big for his age), takut dia kelam kabut (he tends to drop things and himself!), can he goes to the toilet by himself, takut macam macam. People say, this first one is the hardest to let go. Above all aku rasa 'sedih' sebab dia dah masuk sekolah, then before I know it, dia dah masuk secondary school. Masa sekarang ni sangat pantas.

As I was busy in dealing with these incertainties, a friend of mine discussed with me via BBM about a private school in Ukay Heights, where she sends her kids to. Sekolah agama. Macam menarik. Dari pre-school to secondary. And the fees are not that high for a private school.

Hubby was not so keen when I mentioned about it last night. But I hope he changes his mind. Besides, my friend, says its a good school with a balance of agama and academic subjects. Dari kecik diorang dah tahu sembahyang sembahyang sunat, doa doa which sometimes mak nya pun tak tahu.

FRANCE

2010-11-03T20:05:00.006+08:00

As I was looking through an old autgraph book dated 1984, signed by many many friends I had back then, I stood still and my mind went back to my old school, BBGS (primary). I remember the big huge tree in the middle of the large pavement where we assembled each morning. The small field where we held our annual sports day. And the two water coolers, and the small hall and the small canteen and the uncle kacang!

Back to the old autograph book. Most of my friends wrote, FRANCE. F = Friendship, R = Remains, A = And, N = Never, C = Can, E = End.

I still keep in touch with most of them till today (big thanks to Facebook!). Although we did lost track of each other when we left school.

Today I learned that old friends can never be replaced. I am lucky, I guess, to still have these old friends. Not many, but I have.

I learned that someone who was never close to me can now be a very good friend. I learned that I have to accept other people's flaws just as long as they are not liars or back stabbers, and live with it. I learned that I am also not a perfect friend. I learned that we can never labelled someone before getting to know them.

Yeah, I dont need many friends in my life (like I said in my FB status recently), but it is a bonus to have more friends, good and honest ones.

F.R.A.N.C.E. indeed!

p.s. i also remembered mrs tan yang garang giler and our principle, pn maheran kuntum!

Yada Yada Yada

2010-10-29T21:21:00.004+08:00

eksekius me.

when i say i'm fat that doesnt mean that i am looking for a diet supplement drink thingy ok.

can i just say that i am fat without people judging me and thinking that i want to lose weight?

kau ingat semua orang yang kurus skinny whatever tu happy sangat ke?

please la ok.

ada je orang yang kurus slim whatever and still very unhappy with herself.

so, please, leave fat people like me alone.

if i want something to help me lose weight, i'll ask.

thank you very much.

Ms Brown To The Rescue!

2010-10-29T21:03:00.004+08:00

I have been using this for over a month now. And yes, this is the best cleansing oil plus makeup remover all in one! Non drying, becoz it is made of olive and jojoba oils. Cara pakai dia, pump dua kali (or tiga for big face like mine!) terus urut kat muka (dalam keadaan kering, ye) for 20 seconds, then add a little water (sampai jadi a little foamy) then rinse terus dengan air. That simple. Owh kalau tak bermekap pun boleh guna as your daily facial cleanser. Very good this one. Try. Its Bobbi Brown Cleansing Oil.

When I Am Down, I Shop!

2010-10-28T18:51:00.005+08:00

I went to KLCC today.

Alone.

How great was that, right.

Bought a pair of pants and a flowery top for Marks and Spencer.

And Kiehl's body mosturiser.

And Clarins rubby coloured lispstick.

Adakah saya kaya...??

oh tidak sama sekali.

Cuma suka membazir duit di waktu kesedihan.

weu.

I Am Back With A Bang!

2010-10-26T18:38:00.003+08:00

.. what ever that means!.. =D

I was in a horrible mood the last few weeks. I cursed and sweared in my Twitter status updates. So sorry for that. One of my friends said that it didnt sound like me. Well.. you know.. I was in "one of those days" feeling. Cannot be controlled.

Above all I think I forgot how lucky I am. Yes, I am blessed in many other ways. Tapi kan baran aku ni selalu menguasai (wah!) diri aku. I really hate it. But to be honest it felt good when I spilled it out. Tapi setan pun tepuk tangan tanda gembira sebab berjaya buat aku jadi tak bersyukur.

I have to keep on reminding myself that life is too short. Anytime aku boleh mati. Anytime, I tell ya. I have to keep reminding myself that DO NOT point my finger at others when me myself are not perfect. I have to remind myself not to care so much about what others might say or have said. In short, think of HIM all the time. Nak cakap apa je, ingat kat DIA, nak buat apa pun, ingat kat DIA. Ingat kat DIA 24/7.

I know I have been saying that I have change but I guess, I have not achieved it yet, well not much.

:: Alfatihah buat Ayahanda tersayang. Missing him much still. ::

Saya Tonton

2010-10-14T21:45:00.001+08:00

I am following Akasia Chinta every weekdays from 630-730pm. Timing yang amat tak sesuai. Half of the show mesti tergendala atau aku berasa guilty sebab melambatkan solat maghrib aku.

And I seriously think that Ady Putra is simply hawwtt in Chinta. OMG, okeh. As usual Fasha is simply beautiful and Dato' R Razali is one lucky man! Lagu pun sedap, sape nyanyi hah?

Akhirnya!

2010-10-13T18:43:00.006+08:00

: sangat comel :

: hmm, come to mama! :

: verdict? sedap. enak. lazat. tak cukup satu slice. everything was just right:

Tak sia-sia aku ke Bangsar Shopping Center hari Sabtu lepas (091010) to get this baby!

Red Velvet!!!

2010-10-08T20:56:00.004+08:00

Take a look at this. Adakah anda terpegun?

Aku tak sempat sempat lagi makan kek ni la.

Nama dia Red Velvet. *hi gorgeous*

My childhood friend, Iza, posted this picture on our bb chat room during bulan puasa and I have been drooling over it ever since. Everyone who have tasted it, said "the best tasted cake ever". So aku nak la jugak rasa!

Kalau aku tak dapat baldu merah ni dalam masa terdekat, aku nak bake la. I found the recipe. *tapi macam malas*.

Dia famous di kawasan Bangsar. Kat area Ampang ni tak sure la. *sungguh kampung*

Adek tried to get one near her office (Delicious Cafe) but they were sold out!! See, everyone is getting RV, except me. *nanges*

Ok takpe, esok masih ada (InsyaAllah).

Weu.

For One More Day

2010-10-08T20:34:00.005+08:00

OMG.

This is the best book I've read in years.

I am not good in telling tales of how the book ended but it was so real. So sad. Full of emotions. A mother's love. A father's love. And I saw some of me in there.

I have always prefer a female author, but Mitch Albom melted my heart with this wonderful piece.

This phase caught my heart in this book :

"here is what you are going to find out about marriage : you have to work at it together. and you have to love three things. you have to love 1) each other, 2) your children (when you have some! hint! hint!), and 3) your marriage."

and

"and one day spent with someone you love can change everything - a day to listen, to love, to apologize, to forgive."

Ironically, my dearest father bought this particular book a day before his passing. And every sentence in this book I read, I think of him and his passion for reading. If I were given another day with him, I would walk with him and hold his hand and tell him that I love him.

He Asked

2010-09-29T18:04:00.002+08:00

He asked : Apa khabar?

I replied : Tak best la, Ayah takde..

He smiled and gave me a hug.

I shook his hand and said "maafkan ta, Ayah.."

And I cried for hours after that.

Sweet Dreams Are Made Of These..?

2010-09-29T17:57:00.006+08:00

pernah tak bermimpi tapi mimpi tu macam real?

contoh, kalau berjabat tangan, bila bangun, still boleh rasa hangat tangan tu pada tangan kita..

contoh, kalau menangis tu, bila bangun, still boleh rasa mata kita basah..

contoh, kalau kita excited, bila bangun, still boleh rasa jantung kita laju..

well, i had that kinda dream today.

One Lucky Fella!

2010-09-26T11:34:00.010+08:00

23 September 2004, 818am, my first bundle of joy was born.

We named him Yusuf Danial.

Now at six years old, he is still my bundle of joy, penyeri hidup kami, my pride and joy. Cant imagine my life without him. But he is also the one who has been giving me constant headache and chest pain!! Mama loves you very much, Utop!

Tahun ni dia bertuah sikit sebab dapat celebrate his birthday twice! One at his school and one at home!

: huge cake! :

: adiknya tumpang semangkuk :

: thank you all for the presents :

: kek pempomer (dijah cakap) :

: he was so excited about giving his friends the goodie bags :

Thank You, Allah!

2010-09-25T12:23:00.008+08:00

: one of the many newspaper cuttings that we keep neatly :

One year.

I survived.. we all survived.

I am stronger, all because of You.

Thank you to some of my friends out there who remembered that particular date and sending me messeges with comfort words in them. I trully appreciate them. *hugs*

Hari ni aku membelek balik keratan akhbar yang kami simpan dari tahun lepas mengenai pemergian ayahanda tercinta aku. I am soooo proud to be his daughter.

Lima Syawal

2010-09-14T13:16:00.004+08:00

Apa yang penting sangat pasal 5 Syawal ni..?

Tarikh yang akan ku ingat sampai aku mati.

Hari ini, 5 Syawal, tahun lepas, hari terakhir aku bercakap dengan Ayah aku. Time flies so fast. Not a day went by, not thinking about him. Setiap hari aku akan ingat kat Ayah. Orang lain mungkin takkan faham, cuma yang telah melalui apa yang aku lalui je akan faham.

Missing him everyday, yet I feel like I am closer to him. In a way.

Al-Fatihah.

Tanggal 31, Bulan 8, 2010

2010-09-12T21:15:00.005+08:00

Since aku dah berkurun tak up date blog ni, this post is a little back-dated. Hari Merdeka ke 53 lalu, the king mintak di bawa ke Tugu Negara *sungguh patriotik anak aku*. So, nak taknak aku berempat pergi lah ke Tugu Negara. Hebat tau tempat tu. The last time I went there was probably almost 30 years ago!

Terasa bangga pergi situ, lagi-lagi time cuti merdeka. Clean, well maintained. Altho it was sizzling hot, and in the month of Ramadhan, it was worth while.

: me hero posed in front of the real heroes,

altho my king is not the cutest most adorable boy,

he is to me, the most perfect son,

so i dont care what other people think, thank you :

1 Syawal 1431H

2010-09-11T11:19:00.006+08:00

Selamat hari raya, semua!

We started off our raya morning to visit kubur Ayah, walaupun hujan sejak dari subuh lagi.

Then the makan-sampai-kenyang-tapi-masih-makan session began! Sesungguhnya malam tadi perut aku se'eh tak kasi chan. Alhamdulillah.

These are a few pictures taken yesterday. Kalau tak mesti gambar Ayah banyok dok aku tepek kat sini.

: take one! anak-anak macam malas layan gitu :

: take two! wahh anak-anak ketawa besar! :

: my partner in crime and i :

: my heart and soul (yang kadang tu buat aku sakit jantung!) :

: mak with her cucus :

: wahh aku ada baby la... hehe.. introducing Rayyana yang sangat comel ok :

p.s. missing ayah so much :(

Ramadhan Is Here Again

2010-08-10T21:15:00.003+08:00

So besok kita umat Islam berpuasa.

Hmmm...

Ramadhan kali ni will be a very syahdu and sad one. First time celebrating it without Ayah.

Some of my dear friends gave me so much words of encouragements. Thank you.

I receiced this text from WS this morning :

"Ramadan mubarak 2 u & family.

It will a tough month for you without your father

but it will bring u closer to him in many ways dear...luv..."

How true it is.

But I am stronger and redha now.

Thank you to MM too who constantly asking how I am doing..

Love ~

Here's another interesting text I received today from Hubby.. maybe a lot of you got it too.

"Salam! Nama saya Sya'ban! Saya ingin mengingatkan anda bhw jiran saya, Ramadhan akan dtg mengunjungi anda bersama isterinya Rezki dan anak2 mereka Sahur dan Iftar! Mereka akan di temani ketiga-tiga cucunya, Rahmat, Barakat dan Keampunan. Mereka akan pulan selepas 30 hari dan menaiki pesawat Eid' Airlines. Hargai mereka dan anda akan mendapat berkat, InsyaAllah".

SELAMAT MENYAMBUT BULAN RAMADHAN

AND LIKE MY SISTER SAID,

"LETS DOUBLE UP OUR IBADAH!"

2010-08-03T22:04:00.001+08:00

:: to those who love romantic comedy, like me,

please watch this one.

they are too gorgeous to be missed! ::

Cazy Thing Called Love

2010-08-03T21:48:00.003+08:00

I love reading blogs. I've read numourous blogs and I have a few favourites.

The thing is when I read these blogs, I often thought to myself.. "wahh bestnya kehidupan sipolan sipolan nihh.. no worries and no problems at all.." Or maybe they just dont want to share it with the whole world?

I am pretty new with this blog thing, tak sampai dua tahun pun lagi. But I just put everything under the sun in my blog. Happy times, sad times, bad times, frustrating times... EVERTHING!

Are blogs meant for only happy times or the bloggers are really happy all the time?

I am not a good blogger, i dont know how to promote anything at all. Well, not up to that standard where people would go and purchase the items that I promoted in this blog. Hmm let me think. Eh.. aku takde la promote apa apa pun dalam blog ni. I am definately not a good blogger.

On the other hand I bought five handphone covers for the past three months, since I started using Blackberry.. that's crazy, I know. I am like a 16 year old girl, excitedly and constantly changing the cover according to my mood. Crazy ol lady!!

Oh, and I am totally in love with the guy who played JLo's boyfriend in The Back Up Plan. Alex something. He is so so good looking.. amat menyelerakan, I tell ya! I have watched it like at least ten times in just one week. Crazy ol lady!!

Makciks @ The Marche

2010-07-26T21:26:00.002+08:00

: nani, roz, iza, farah, zau, lin and fuz :

Here we are. The eight of us. Great food, great company, great jokes, everything was great!

:: THE MARCHE, CURVE ::

:: 25 JULY 2010 ::

I Was

2010-07-23T21:32:00.006+08:00

dulu-dulu dalam kepala otak aku ni aku selalu tanya apa yang nak di syukurkan? aku ni banyak kekurangan. takde apa-apa yang nak disyukurkan.

zaman jahiliah aku. tak tahu diuntung.

sekarang ni aku bersyukur sangat-sangat kepada Allah Taala. Bukan sebab aku dah cantik ke apa sekarang ni, bukan sebab aku dah kurus ke apa, bukan sebab aku dah drive mini cooper ke apa.. bukan bukan bukan..

aku bersyukur sebab Allah Taala bagi aku kehidupan ni. Allah Taala beri kurniakan anak-anak aku. Allah Taala beri aku kesihatan yang baik. Allah Taala jaga aku. Allah beri pelindungan. Allah Taala beri aku peluang untuk hidup lagi di dunia Dia ini. Allah Taala beri aku makan, minum, pakai, harta. Allah Taala beri aku segalanya.

tapi biasela dulu aku tak nampak semua tu. aku cuma tahu kalau aku dapat sesuatu yang aku idamkan barulah aku nak bersyukur. hampurah betul.

but now things are different. i mean, its good that we have money in our hands, becoz the truth is money equals happiness. but money cant buy happiness. you get what i mean?

Allah The Almighty

2010-07-23T21:08:00.003+08:00

ALHAMDULILLAH

I AM SO PROUD OF MYSELF

HE SHOWED ME THAT I CAN DO IT

THAT I CAN BE BETTER AT IT

THAT I CAN BE A BETTER PERSON

THAT I CAN BE WISER

THAT I CAN BE OPTIMISTIC ABOUT LIFE

ALL I DO IS SAY

ALHAMDULILLAH

WHENEVER WHEREEVER WHATEVER I DO

AND SAY ALLAHUAKHBAR ALL THE TIME

INSYA-ALLAH

EVERYTHING WILL FALL IN ITS PLACE

AMEEN

Nasib

2010-07-06T21:42:00.006+08:00

I really need a break from home. Pronto!

I tak kisah pi mana, just keluar dari rumah ni kejap.

All these while I've been too caring too scared too much thinking...

I have been thru alot but I never gave up improving myself. I know I am not and beribu ribu batu far from perfect but I should not be in this state ever.

I have never ever been in this kind of state before. The last time I thought was the worst but this is beyond my wildest imagination. Really.

Tapi I had my best friend with me (besides MM), who asked me to keep my calm and turn to Him. And I did just that. I talked to Allah and asked Him. Please punish me if I was the guilty one. I have done my best to be a better person but if that aint enough, I need to gained my strength and do better.

At times like this I really miss Ayah. Altho if he was around, aku takkan cerita kat dia pun, but I just miss him.

I didnt mean to call anyone a biatch. Especially if that someone is someone that I care about. But at that particular time, I just lost my cool (as usual, baran tak habis habis). Saya tak pernah di perlaku sebegitu.

Maybe Allah is testing me (again). Aku tahu Allah sayangkan aku bila orang lain benci aku. He will always listen to me. I can always communicate with Him thru my solah. InsyaAllah.

One last thing, God is fair. Whatever you have done to a person in the past, is happening to you now. Whatever you hated in a person in the past is in you now. So aku kena selalu ingat kan diri aku. To Hubby, thank you for accepting me and my bad temper and all. There is no one else better for me.

Joke or No Joke

2010-07-06T21:26:00.003+08:00

i was born big.

i grew up as a big fat girl.

in school i tried so hard to fit in becoz of my ugliness.
(seriously, imagine budak berkulit gelap, muka berjerawat, berbadan gemok, berambut frizzy - that was me in school!)

people made (and still do) fun about my appearance.

some people called me 'buruk' 'gemok' to my face.

but you know what? i dont care anymore. senang cerita. no more nasty words to me ok. aku tahulah apa aku nak buat nanti. all these while i've been nice and not said a word. lepas ni cubalah kutuk aku (secara joking atau serious) lagi.. i know what i'll do.

to me senang je. kalau aku tak kacau hidup kau why must you kacau hidup aku? ha? ha?